Trump Didn’t Leave a $10,000 Tip
Derober.com is either really clever or had an unreliable source when they showed a restaurant receipt supposedly signed by Donald Trump and boasting a $10,000 tip for a bill under $100. Yeah, right. The Donald leave that big a tip? The Donald says it’s a publicity stunt by the restaurant.

Real Estate by Night, Britney?
Britney Spears supposedly booked an appointment with her real estate agent to see a house a night, despite already owning two in the Beverly Hills area. Why at night, you ask? Well probably so she would escape notice of the paparazzi and not run over their feet. Except she wore her stupid pink wig.

Lipstick on Your Collar, Kelly Osbourne
Well, bosom really. Someone of the female persuasion appears to have planted her lipsticked lips on Kelly Osbourne’s bared bosom. Either that or Ozzy really is the devil, and as his spawn, Kelly can kiss her own boobies.

Breaking News: Baby Spice is Dumb
Oh wait, is that news? Baby Spice, who is once again torturing us thanks to the new Spice Girls tour, says she gets so worked up on stage that she forgets her lyrics. Too bad they couldn’t all forget. Exactly how does Baby looks so babyfaced a hundred years after their last tour?

Breaking News: Posh Spice is a Gay Man
Stop looking at me funny. Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, said she’s a gay man in a woman’s body. That was after she revealed that she sleeps naked when soccer hubby David is in bed too. Confusing? Well, she was also chastising all those celebrities that release fashion items/ accessories under their name but have nothing to do with the design. My head hurts. Maybe she, like Baby Spice, actually forgot what she really meant to say.

Bouncing Baby Hennessy
Is there any female celeb in Hollyweird not pregnant? Crossing Jordan star Jill Hennessy just gave birth to a boy, Gianni, in late November, but it wasn’t announced until this week. Husband Paolo Mastropietro contributed sperm.

Dumbest People in Hollyweird
Speaking of dumb, Firecrotch Lindsay Lohan has the dubious honor of being designated the dumbest person in hollywood.

Dolly Parton has an Open Marriage?
Um okay. Well, she didn’t say that she and her husband cheat. She did say that if they do cheat on each other, they don’t know about it, and that “it’s very good for both of us.”

John Mayer is a Cad
Or something like that. He went from Minka Kelly to recently slimmed-down Ricki Lake and back to Cameron Diaz in what appears to have been about a week. What do you say? Cad?

More Drunken Celebs: Vivica Fox
Like I’ve said before, everyone in Hollyweird is either pregnant, flashing their privates, or drunk. Speaking of which, Vivica A. Fox pleaded no contest to a DUI charge, and Ray Liotta pleaded no contest to reckless driving.