If you’re over twenty, you probably remember that old TV ad, where the storekeeper would tell people “Don’t squeeze the Charmin”. Actor Dick Wilson, known as Mr. Whipple in the TV ad, passed away at 91.

Patricia Crane (aka Sigrid Valdis) passed away of lung cancer in mid October at 72. She had wanted no press, so the announcement was delayed. She played “Hilda” on the Hogan’s Heroes TV show and later married Bob Crane, star of the show. Bob Crane was found bludgeoned to death in 1978.

Jonathon Rhys Meyers, who was recently arrested in Ireland for public drunkeness, just lost his mother.

It’s sometimes easy to forget that stars are human too, and as such they get sick. Mary-Kate Olsen, who became famous on with her identical twin sister Ashley, was hospitalized this week for a kidney infection. Also recently hospitalized: Dennis Quaid’s newborn twins. Nancy Grace’s newborn twins have now both been released, after being born premature when Grace suffered a pulmonary edema.

The mother of Angelina Jolie’s adopted daughter Zahara has spoken out, saying she has never disputed the adoption. The young woman, Mentwabe Dawit, admits that the baby was a product of rape and though her mother was understanding, she had trouble feeding Zahara, then named Yemsrach (”good news” in Amharic). She ran away and her mother, who feared her dead after a fruitless search, then put the baby up for adoption.

Mentwabe feels that the baby is fortunate to have been adopted by someone as famous as Jolie.

Jennie Garth (Beverly Hills 90210, What I Like About You), was voted off Dancing With the Stars this week, leaving only Marie Osmond, Melanie Brown (Mel B of the Spice Girls), and racecar driver Helio Castroneves. What do you want to bet Mel B will win, given that older contestants have traditionally been voted off in past seasons, despite their superior talent? That suggests a younger audience (probably).

With the Spice Girls touring again - and thus having active fans - I have a feeling Marie Osmond will not win, despite how terrific she’s been. At least from the clips I’ve seen, as I’ve been unable to watch this season. If you want to catch the final, it’s on at 8 pm EST on ABC, Mon Nov 26th.

When the Quaids had twins recently, she and actor Dennis Quaid must no doubt have been overjoyed. No one could have guessed that some dumbass nurse would have overdosed them with Heparin. The twins were given an anti-coagulant to prevent blod clots. But the nurse apparently didn’t read the label and dosed them each 1,000 times the necessary amount for babies.

While the babies did start to bleed out, they’re now stable in intensive care. Prayers for the wee ones, who were born via a surrogate.

Word is that Julia Roberts, who had twins a while back and just had her third child, is using handicapped parking spots. Actually, you can see the picture of Julia in the handicapped spot for yourself over at dlisted.

America’s sweetheart is not so sweet after all.

[Image courtesy of Picture Perfect]

Amy Winehouse might look creepier than Creepella, be denying any drug problems (despite charges in a few European countries) like Britney, and have had her home raided by force and her husband arrested. But she’s got a damn good voice. Listen to her in Back to Black (Live) in the video below. The music is also really upbeat and a great contrast to her semi-angstful lounge singer voice. But girlfriend, lose that horrid beehive.

[Images courtesy of Picture Perfect Agency]

Did you even know Britney Spears had a brother? Well she does and Bryan Spears seems to get into trouble too. Not for flashing his privates or anything like that. In this case, he’s dragged the Spears family under the threat of a lawsuit from a real-estate broker. They were supposedly loaned a condo in Marina Del Rey in which he’s said to have spent a great deal of time. An insider says that there was considerable damage after he left. While damaging the condo is bad, at least he’s not like Britney, who’s getting sued by Luis Vuitton and sending privating investigators after K-Fed, amongst a host of other craziness. Don’t forget running over the feet of officers and paparazzi alike, going through red lights, driving with her kids not buckled up (from last year), smoking near her kids, etc. And she’s worried about the safety of her kids?

Okay, two Hollyweird sluts in one day? Whether or not you believe Britney is a slut, it’s sometimes hard not to think Paris Hilton is. Check out this video of Paris taking a bath. And it’s on YouTube of all places. Okay, she’s not a slut for taking a bath naked, but who the heck is the guy you can hear in the background? And did she think the video would never go public? The NSFW version is on DailyMotion, but I’ll link to the Egotastic page, and you can see the PG-13 version below. Nice bathtub, but I never cared much for her big stupid mouth or her tiny little boobies. Let’s hope she bathes before does her New Year’s Eve partying for a million bucks.

I told you so! Back a few years ago when Britney Spears was still pretending to be wholesome and a virgin, I’d claimed to friends that there was no way - she’s lying, and that she’d already had sex. Now there’s evidence that Britney first had sex at 14, long before doing it with Justin Timberlake. I’m not at all surprised. Having met a lot of people in my life that went on to be entertainers, it’s quite common for such people to be passionate in life and thus sex. (I’m sure it was a marketing ploy to portray her as a sassy virgin so that she’d be a role model for millions of young girls.)

Let’s just hope Britney’s sluttiness doesn’t rub off on Miley Cyrus (aka Hanna Montana) when Brit goes there for Thanksgiving this Thursday. (According to Miley, her father, Country music star Billy Ray Cyrus, invited Britney. It was hilarious hearing Miley say it, as if she didn’t want the “credit” for the invitation of the blonde harlot.) The harlot pretending to be a mother will first have Thanksgiving with her kids on Wednesday.

But the US magazine article also reveals a darker secret: that her paternal grandmother committed suicide at only 31. As tragic as that is, that doesn’t explain why Lynne Spears pushed her daughter so much and reputedly turned her into such a mess.